For sin shall not have
dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace. (Romans 6:14)
Yesterday we had our feedback from the therapist after they
spoke with the boys two weeks ago. I was shocked to learn that my little one
was the one that struggled the most coping with the divorce. I broke into a thousand
pieces as my ex just sat there with no expression. When we walked out, I reminded
her of my words before she left and was broken once again. After homework I took
them back to their mom, because it is her week, but believe me I did not want
to. Everything in me battled to drive the few kilometres to her place. I could
not leave as I hugged them over and over again. She was cold and emotionless as
always.
I got home and I talked to my friend for a long time over this
and I tell you I have no idea what to do. I just wish there is a way I could
let them stay with me. But this is in the Lord’s hands and it is His will. All we
can do is to pray for my kids and ask the Lord to protect them and heal their
little hearts. One thing I know is that in my home they will have a place of safety
and a place filled with love.
Today I am reminded about grace. Sin does not have dominion
over us and in no way can it control us, because we are not under the law
anymore. We are under grace. But grace and love of God moves away from sin and
love overcomes all our pain and hurt. I still struggle with people especially
my ex and I have to remind myself that if I want God to forgive me, I must
forgive. What makes it hard is that it becomes a daily thing, because every
time I forgive, and I start to move on something happens and I have to start all
over again. I suppose that is how it should be, because Jesus said we must
forgive seventy times seven each day.
There was a lot of sadness in my house last night, but today
I woke up ready to continue my battle and to fight the enemy. There is no way
he will hurt my kids anymore, because with my God I can do all things and I will
fight for my kids until the end of time and beyond.
Remember grace as you walk into this day and when you meet
people and speak to people and when you are happy and when you are sad and when
you are angry. Remember the cross and look ahead towards the end and fight with
me. Have an amazing day.
I love you, my friend in Jesus.
Cheers
