A
reminder for today
For
we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers
and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world,
and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12)
Friday was the end me. I finally reached that place where
everything just broke. This year and all that has happened finally got the
better of me and I snapped. Combined with fatigue and work stress it just over
powered me and I gave in to it. I find myself at a place where I do not know
the person I am anymore and I have forgotten the person I used to be. It is as
if my always joyful and funny self is replaced by this person that is always
angry and irritated at the world. I have lost me and I have lost my identity. I
am stuck in this abyss of hurt and I just don’t want to hurt anymore. I want to
let it go but it just keeps coming back and the slightest change triggers this
ripple effect of anger that comes over me and I am ready to explode.
I think the Lord gave me a glimpse this morning of what
is going on as I drove to work. I remembered that our fight is not against
flesh and blood but against the rulers of darkness. Our fight is against satan
and all his demons. I realised that I am in the midst of an enormous spiritual
war and I am beginning to lose the fight. The enemy is using anger and
depression to break whatever is left of me and make sure I am completely
destroyed this time.
I am so weak and I have almost no strength left to
continue this fight. I am broken and it is getting harder with each passing
moment to get up again and carry on. I feel that I just want to give up and
throw in the towel. It feels as if I just can’t do it anymore.
Have you ever been here, my friend, at the end of your
strength and with this tremendous feeling of hopelessness and self-pity?
Today I want to remind you and me that we worship an
all-powerful God and with Him there are no limitations to what we can achieve.
It is not what we can do, but what we can do with Him. I am guilty of trying to
stand and fight on my own. So today I pray that the Lord will come and break
these walls that we continue to build between Him and us. I pray that the Lord
will lift us up from where we have fallen and that He will renew our strength
and redirect our feet back on our path. I pray that the Lord will bless us in such
a way that the world around us will stand amazed at His wonder.
In Jesus name.
Have and awesome day dear friend of Jesus
Cheers
