A reminder for
today
Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and
have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. (1
Corinthians 13:1)
I never meant to cause you any sorrow nor did I intent to
cause you more pain. All I want is to see you laugh again. I know it is
difficult for you to see past my mistakes and the pain I caused you. I know
that I do not deserve your friendship, nor do I deserve a chance to give you
the one thing I so long to see in you, and that is happiness. Even though it
has been a few years I understand that you cannot let go of the pain and hurt.
The one thing I know is that without love we are empty and the fact that your
love is gone breaks my heart and it hurts so much. But now I see the pain I
caused and the hurt I so stupidly brought into your life. It is unbearable at
times and it feels as if my Father left me.
Without love we become empty vessels drifting in an ocean of
hurt. This is not the life I have dreamed about for you in past few years. The
life I had in my mind is a life where you are safe and happy and loved. Even
though I love you more and more each day, does not mean I can change your heart
and that is not in my hands. I keep telling you to look ahead and to see the light
that I tried so hard to show you. But it is of no worth it, if your heart is empty
and your love is gone.
I have pleaded, and I have prayed but in the end the choice
remains with you and yes, I know I am not a good bet given my track record, but
the last few years should count for something. Even if it is just a drop. I know
God has never abandoned me, it was me who abandoned Him. I know this, and I can
see the results of my choices. But He has forgiven my mistakes and He has lifted
me out of the pit I once was in, yet you do not want to forgive, and you do not
see my progress. This is the one thing that makes me feel so powerless and I do
not know how too handle it.
So, I decided to leave you with a reminder. Today’s reminder
is just for you.
The greatest gift you can ever receive or give is forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not an act of pity but an act of release, releasing you and the
person you forgive from the burden of their mistake. Forgiveness does not just
free us from pain, but it creates life and growth, because we can let go of the
hurt and accept the love that comes with it. Forgiveness replaces pain with love
and that love is Godly love and can never be removed. I love you and you are my
friend. I am not looking back, I am looking ahead, and I see a future where you
can laugh and smile again. I have abused this gift, but I can see the value of
what I rejected and the gift that I have in you. You are an amazing person and I
would love to bring out the qualities in you that I have not seen and the companionship
that you so desire. I am so sorry for who I was and what I did, but I am not
that person any more. I am a new person made new by a loving God. I am far removed
from my historical self and lifted high by an Almighty God to be who I am now. I
am a husband, a father, a friend, a pillar and person that God uses to uplift
the lives of other, but I cannot do this without you. You are beautiful, full
of life and fun to be with. Yes, we both have our faults, but love will teach
us to look past that. You are wonderfully and powerfully made in the image of a
living God. Do not seek strength and guidance without Him, because you are not alone,
and you do not stand alone. With Him you are more and with Him you can do anything.
It all starts with Him and it all will end with Him. He is the only way and the
only way we can make it through this. You are my rose, my morning air and my
heart.
Have an awesome day dear friend of Jesus.
Cheers