A reminder for today
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12)
Friday was the end me. I finally reached that place where everything just broke. This year and all that has happened finally got the better of me and I snapped. Combined with fatigue and work stress it just over powered me and I gave in to it. I find myself at a place where I do not know the person I am anymore and I have forgotten the person I used to be. It is as if my always joyful and funny self is replaced by this person that is always angry and irritated at the world. I have lost me and I have lost my identity. I am stuck in this abyss of hurt and I just don’t want to hurt anymore. I want to let it go but it just keeps coming back and the slightest change triggers this ripple effect of anger that comes over me and I am ready to explode.
I think the Lord gave me a glimpse this morning of what is going on as I drove to work. I remembered that our fight is not against flesh and blood but against the rulers of darkness. Our fight is against satan and all his demons. I realised that I am in the midst of an enormous spiritual war and I am beginning to lose the fight. The enemy is using anger and depression to break whatever is left of me and make sure I am completely destroyed this time.
I am so weak and I have almost no strength left to continue this fight. I am broken and it is getting harder with each passing moment to get up again and carry on. I feel that I just want to give up and throw in the towel. It feels as if I just can’t do it anymore.
Have you ever been here, my friend, at the end of your strength and with this tremendous feeling of hopelessness and self-pity?
Today I want to remind you and me that we worship an all-powerful God and with Him there are no limitations to what we can achieve. It is not what we can do, but what we can do with Him. I am guilty of trying to stand and fight on my own. So today I pray that the Lord will come and break these walls that we continue to build between Him and us. I pray that the Lord will lift us up from where we have fallen and that He will renew our strength and redirect our feet back on our path. I pray that the Lord will bless us in such a way that the world around us will stand amazed at His wonder.
In Jesus name.
Have and awesome day dear friend of Jesus